How to Make Up After a Fight
The inevitable part of every relationship, the fight.
As awful as fights are in the moment, they really are a true test of your relationship. If you can get through the worst of times then you deserve the best of them.
For most couples, the fight only lasts a short time. If you’ve ever been in one, whether its a knock down drag out type or a little tiff, it can be awkward to approach the love of your life afterwards. Someone has to take the first step, make sure you don’t expect it to always be your other half ir it will make things more difficult.
Some great ways to begin to make up after a fight
If you’ve ever heard the expression, “You can only say sorry so many times.” It is so true! If you are one of those couples that argues often, (hopefully not) it can be so annoying to hear just a simple, “sorry.”
It is my humble opinion that an apology should match the argument.
For example, she burns dinner and it tastes awful and you are not so sensitive to the situation. Of course it hurts her feelings. You can make up for it by going out and getting sundae fixings and saying, in a light-hearted joking manner that she cannot burn ice cream.
In addition to a heart felt, sincere, and maybe a-little-fun-type apology there are some guidelines to always try to follow. I say try because in the heat of the moment it can be hard.
Here are some of my big no-no’s for behavior during and after a fight.
- Never call names: Keep it clean. You can have a grown-up argument without having resort to insults.
- Avoid bringing out issues from the past: If your husband forgot to mail that very important document after you had agreed he would do, it is not fair – and counter-productive – to bring up the time he also forgot his passport at home on your way to the airport. If it really has nothing to do with what you are arguing about at the present moment, don’t bring it up.
- Accept your own mistakes from the argument: Remember, you’re a grown up. You have to be willing to own up to your wrongdoings because, as they say, it takes 2 to tango. No peaceful resolution will come otherwise.
- Never refuse to talk, talking is what helps you heal.
- Never walk out of an argument: If it looks like you are not going anywhere and things will only get worse it is perfectly fine to say “Listen, I can’t go on with this conversation without becoming hurtful. I don’t want that to happen. So let’s agree to stop for a second and come back to this when we both cool down a bit.” There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing that and it will probably give both of you time to reflect on what has been said and be more positive next time you talk.
Following these rules lets your partner know you are there for them no matter what happens. That your love is stronger than any argument and you are in it for the long haul because you truly love them.
Fighting can be extremely frustrating and even exhausting. So think about how small the argument really is in the bigger scheme of things. Decide that your relationship is much more important than petty arguments, and also that there is no way the two of you are going to agree on everything.
When you’ve come back together, made up, and with the realization that your relationship is now just a little bit stronger it is time to show one another your deepened love.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is the BEST part! (Follow up with a Fun Date!)
That old adage that the make-up is the best part is absolutely true!
I shall never forget a huge argument (a weekend-long one!) that my guy and I had. We were in different countries because we had gone back home to visit the family and he had to come back a few days earlier. I was getting off the plane when he called me. I was so hyped to just hug him that we talked until we found one another and I literally zoomed across the terminal and jumped into his arms.
Enjoy! Love is an amazing thing!